I am Carla – Creatrix.
When I first heard the word “Creatrix” many, many moons ago I had an immediate experience in my body – a rush of energy, the spark of excitement, a deep resonance within my bones.
At the time I thought “this word is incredible, I’ll keep it in my back pocket for when the time is right”.
And that time is now.
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A Creatrix is defined in the dictionary as a female who produces, creates and brings forth.
It is a word that has been used since at least the
For me, Creatrix expresses the fullness of who I am and what to do. I am “She that creates” – in manifest forms.
A word that feels at once enchanting, mystical, powerful, slightly mischievous and with a tiny whisper of darkness. Perfect.
But it wasn’t an overnight awakening that brought me into this mindstate, in fact, it has been a lifelong journey. I am Canadian with settler ancestry. I am a descendant of English and Scottish Protestants and German Jews. I am honored to live on the unceded traditional territory of the L’heidli Tenneh First Nation in Prince George, British Columbia.
“In the fullness of everyday life, we could forget who we are and a weekend together with women, a desire to heal, expand and learn, I can say this was the best self-care vacations I have been on. Carla has a divine gift, and she combines ancient forgotten and current teachings in such a way that opens you up to your true being. It’s not just one thing but the whole journey that brought forward many answers, new connections and friendships. Thank you Carla.”
~ Anja Chow
“I had no idea what to expect as I packed for this retreat with both eager anticipation and nervous trepidation. From arrival to the last morning, I have been in awe of your steadfast guidance and energy during our practices. I don’t easily open up and share; with your encouragement and by example of my fellow goddesses, it was not so hard. Thank you for giving me the little push I needed to get here and for helping me learn that being uncomfortable can be fun.” ~ Kristie Waddell
“To be in the presence of an exceptional woman and teacher is a gift in itself, to have her knowledge, wisdom and creativity shared with us, is a treasure. Carla used her talents to bring us deeper into our bodies and this truly was magical. To be in the presence other exceptional women each teachers in their own way and from their own life experiences was an honor and an experience I will hold dearly in my heart for some time.” ~ Denise Marshall
“This was a trip of a lifetime. I had never met Carla before this trip. After speaking with her I decided to take a chance on this retreat and it was spectacular!! Her knowledge and light shine through the minute you meet her. Everything was perfect and I am so grateful that I had this opportunity.” ~ Sharon Bridson
Timeline of my life
My teen years were not epic.
I never quite fit in and wanted desperately to be accepted. I gave a lot of my power away as currency just to be liked. Not enough became my mantra.
Although I was very artistic and skilled in many mediums, I felt the need to impress others with my intellect to gain their favour. I worked tirelessly at school to find some sort of acceptance but only ended up with undergraduate and graduate degrees that didn’t fill the hole in my heart.
Teaching and practicing yoga were opening my body and being in new and powerful ways.
I found my voice as a facilitator and discovered I actually had something to say and share with the world.
I became determined to heal myself. I met with teachers, healers and therapists. I studied. I became a homeopathic doctor.
Early in my 4th decade I had a profound sexual awakening experience.
My body cast off the multitude of uncomfortable symptoms that had become normal and I rediscovered pleasure.
I began to dive deeper into the feminine, breath work and the tantric healing arts.
As a child I was highly sensitive, with a deep connection to animals and the natural world.
I would spend hours looking at the details in the microcosms found in the grass, under rocks, on the edges of flowers and found the solitude of nature both grounding and comforting.
I felt my emotions and the emotions of others deeply – which was both a gift and a challenge. As an empath I could sense what others were feeling, but often became overwhelmed by the feelings and situations around me. I was often berated and punished for ‘being too emotional’. I learned how to be solitary.
In my early 20’s I was knocked back by two sexual assaults that turned my world upside down.
Depression became my constant companion. I had a nervous breakdown. I couldn’t get out of bed. My capacity for pleasure was lost and I looked for ways to numb my pain and sadness.
At the quarter century mark I tried my first yoga class and a light inside me was sparked. I learned to breathe for the first time. My body tentatively invited me to witness parts of her inner landscape. I began to experience self compassion.
The birth of my children gave me the experience of having my heart chakra blown right open. I experienced love in an entirely new way.
And yet the trauma of their cesarean births brought me into another tailspin. I felt my body had failed me yet again and was deeply ashamed of my sadness and grief.
I worked for government and not for profits as a wildlife biologist. After almost 2 decades, I did not feel like I was meaningfully helping nature and the planet. I also realized that I could no longer work authentically in a career dominated by the masculine. I decided to fully embracing the path of healer.
I am more embodied than I have ever been. I work in service of women and the Divine feminine. I assist others feel more ease, grace, nourishment, turn-on and celebrate all the parts of herself.
I know deep in my bones that I am always learning and evolving as is everyone who I meet on my path. I am grateful to be guided by Source on this journey and have so much appreciation and reverence for YOU. You who is curious, searching, and ready to open into the mysteries of love and life.
Thank you for being here. Welcome.
Wow! Carla this is fantastic! I love your description of who and what you are!
When I first heard this word ‘Creatrix’, I felt a rush of energy and awe inspiration! Although I see myself as a wee grasshopper, learning that I have wings, I also know deep down that I too am a Creatrix. Or even, that I am apart of the Creatrix entity that often woos me like celestial bodies and the grounding support from the universe when I am quiet enough to listen.
I love the diversity that this word, title, label or entity incorporates. I find it directly linked with facing fears, releasing trauma and manifesting that which we truly desire.
Thank you for musing. I deeply appreciate these emails, and the thoughts they support me to express in writing and those that they inspire. I’m grateful to be your student, friend and co-Creatrix in this magical life. Together we (divine feminine) are so powerful!
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