I was recently at a workshop where the participants were asked to write down the predominant negative/self defeating thought that shows up every day. After writing this thought down on a piece of paper, we were instructed to make it into a paper airplane, close our eyes and send it sailing somewhere into the room. Then we picked up a plane that landed nearby and read what had been written inside.
When the facilitator asked how many people had a paper that had a variation of “I’m not enough”, over half the hands went up in the room. In that moment I experienced so much sadness at the thought that this is the reality for so many of us.
Why is that? Why is it so difficult for us to know and to feel that we are good enough exactly as we are?
Maybe it would be helpful to break the concept down a bit. Being good enough doesn’t mean that you are flawless and never make mistakes. It doesn’t mean you are totally self-sufficient and that you never need help. It doesn’t mean that you have it all figured out. Does anyone?
What being enough really means that there is nothing you need to be or do to be deemed as valuable and worthwhile. You existing as you, in your human-ness, are a unique expression of life and completely one of a kind through all of time and creation.
When you were born, the people around you saw you as a perfect being. No one really argues whether a baby is enough. They just are.
So what happens? When does the shift occur and we begin to question ourselves?
While we all have our own individual story, many of us experience the cracks in our enoughness early in life – maybe from your upbringing, school, sports, relationships. We experience comparison, judgement and insecurity. Slowly, bit by bit, our sense of self becomes eroded. All the ‘shoulds’ in our life reinforce a sense of self is extrinsic, relying on all the things we have or don’t have.
And I don’t know about you, but growing up, no one ever taught me any differently.
So as an adult I am now consciously reprogramming. Anchoring a new belief in my being that comes from a place of truth and compassion. Living a life that is less about trying to be what others expect and more about what feels authentically alive inside. It isn’t easy, and I relapse all the time, but here are a few ideas that have really helped me:
- Although you are already perfect, the idea of achieving perfection is a myth. Let yourself be human and embracing all the amazing experiences of human-ness (the comfortable parts and the uncomfortable ones).
- There is no goal that will suddenly make you feel good enough. This is a state of being, not a result of doing.
Let “I am good enough” be a mantra. Repeat it in your low moments. Repeat it in your high moments. Breathe it in. Create new synaptic connections that raise your vibration!
- Remember that you are a one-of-a-kind being of the Universe that has never existed before and never will again.
- Be yourself.